**Today after all the kids but the smallest one was at school, I decided to run some errands. After I was done doing what needed to be done, I had about 45 minutes before I needed to pick Peachy up from school. I decided to take Fuzzy to a near by park to enjoy the BEUUUUTIFUL weather. There were 3 or 4 other moms there with some children that I assumed belonged them. Although, I couldn't be sure , because not one of the visiting ladies were paying ANY attention to the small group of children playing *sort of* contentedly in the sand. Fuzzy is still small, and I don't trust that he will consistently make wise decisions while climbing, so I tend to stay close to him while he is playing. After a bit, he decided to join the others in the sand. Again, I stay close (mostly because he won't eat food, but he WILL eat cat food, rocks, grass and SAND...) One adorable youngster thought it would be absolutely thrilling to toss the sand in the air, an occasionally at other adorable small children in the vicinity. I looked around to see is anyone besides me was witnessing the sand shenanigans, not one grown person seemed to take notice. Soon MORE adorable children started in on the fun. I thought to myself "hmmm, guess no one cares that this could be dangerous or possibly injurious?" I spoke up, "hey guys, lets not throw sand OK? It might get in someones eye and hurt them", but the sand flinging continued. Up until this point, Fuzzy remained unscathed, but the action was quickly closing in......
And then it happened.
MY kid got sand thrown in his vicinity!!!
I had watched this play out right in front of me for long enough. I stood to comfort my child, dust the sand from his hair and smother him with kisses. (He wasn't too bothered by the sand in his hair, but I sure was.) I once again stepped in, or rather, spoke up (I was a good 10 feet away from the crowd of little ones) "Please, don't throw the sand anymore, it isn't nice, and it could hurt little eyes. OK? Please?"
That was nice enough right? Polite, non finger pointing, general request to the masses?
Well, here comes mean ole scary mama bear lumbering in my direction. I was terrified! She was no petite woman! I wanted to scoop up my kid and run in the other direction! "If I thought there was a problem with what MY kid was doin', I would have dealt with it, mind your own business." Whoa Nelly. "Wow, sorry lady, if it had been MY kid huckin' sand and I wasn't paying attention to what was goin' down, I would LOVE to have someone step in and correct the dangerous behavior before someone got hurt, but, oh yeah.... I teach MY kid that it isn't nice to throw sand."
DISCLAIMER
This is a true story,
**some details may have been embellished to make a point**
It didn't quite play out that way, but it was close.
Do you think that it is OK for someone (not the parent of the offender) to step in and correct bad (potentially dangerous) behavior before it gets out of hand, or should the "speaking up" so to speak, rely ONLY on the parent, or caretaker? It has been said "It takes a village to raise a child" WHERE IS THE VILLAGE??? Why can't we as parents unite and not get so darn offended when a wrong needs to be made right? If my kid is acting up during the Primary program, or in the classroom, or on the playground, or on the street, or ANYWHERE where I might not be immediately available to correct the behavior, PLEASE for the sake of humanity and children, SPEAK UP!! I will NOT be offended if you tell my child to be nice, or quiet, or still, or respectful, or whatever! As long as you are not threatening the safety or security my child for his/her misbehavior, You have my permission.
Also, "red shirting", what the heck is up with that??? I had an acquaintance tell me recently that she *planned to birth all of her children in the summer so she wouldn't feel "too guilty" keeping them back a year in school so they would be, and I quote "bigger and better in sports" than the rest of the kids.* Yeah.... because SPORTS is what school (and apparently life) is all about.
Just one more reason my kids don't (generally) play mainstream sports, because of crap like that.
1 comment:
You did the right thing by saying something. I've noticed that a lot of parents (especially here in Utah) think their children are angels who can't do any wrong. It's amazing that she told you to mind your own business when your child was involved which MAKES it your business. Usually kids with no respect are products of parents who act the same way. They lack manners, common sense or both. I've had to speak up at places like McDonalds Playland when kids were being too wild, rough or screaming too loud. I've never had a parent confront me, though. Probably because they were too busy yapping with their friends to know what's going on. The day will come, though, I'm sure.
I always ask my kids' teachers (school, church, etc) how they are behaving. I tell them to be honest with me because I don't get offended if someone says something negative about my kids. I want to know. I know they're not angels 100% of the time. Like you, I also give my permission to verbally discipline them.
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