I want to pose a question to those of you that read my blog, (all 3 of you), and PLEASE comment! I had a real "self check" moment today, and it has really made me THINK. Thus the "thoughtful Thursday" title.
How honest are you? How honest am I? As a "card holding Mormon" I had to answer that question about being honest in all of my dealings, so how am I doing? Well, that is the question of the day!
Peanut and Beanie earned some "freebie" coupons from school for reading, so I took them to lunch so they could use them. After they ate, they got to play in the play area, and I got to participate in one of my favorite past times: People watching.
While we were there, I saw a group of 6 Missionaries, a few moms with their kids, A dad with his kids, some men in business attire, a few older men, 2 younger men, and a lady with a ginormous ruffled purse. It was cute! It had a bunch of ruffly flowers on it, and it caught my attention. She was a youngish (20's?) woman, pretty, well dressed (true religion jeans, anthro sweater), cute hair, nice makeup. After she rifled through her huge purse, she touched up her lip gloss while she was waiting for her food.... I also watched her empty out a full napkin dispenser and a WHOLE basket of sauces, ketchup, salt and pepper and other condiments into her purse. I IMMEDIATELY judged her. I thought to myself - what kind of person does that?!?! Who does she think she is, stealing like that? What gives her the right? Just because it is sitting there, doesn't mean that it is free game. What if everyone did that kind of thing? ... and lots of other not so nice things... it was certainly not my finest moment. After I had taken the time to tear her apart in my head, I really started to wonder why she did that. It reminded me of a commercial: A woman in a restaurant server uniform was squeezing ketchup packets into a bowl and her daughter hugging her teddy bear as she went hungry that night. I think it was for the food bank? Maybe she was taking extra in the name of frugality? Why pay for napkins and condiments when I can get a bunch for free? I have certainly taken a napkin or two and a couple extra ketchup packets to stash in my car on occasion, but a whole basket full?
I started to think about other things, like work. People steal from my place of employment all the time: We have a refreshment room with an ice/water machine, and soda for families to drink, we also provide coffee if they ask (we have to keep the coffee packets in the break room so people won't take the extras). In this room, we also have suckers, crackers, juice, milk and popsicles for our PATIENTS. There are signs "for patients only" But on more than one occasion, I have seen visitors take HAND FULLS of crackers, fill their pockets with suckers, take milk and juice cartons.... you get the idea. It's called stealing! Just because it is there and available doesn't mean that it is OK to take it. Monitor parts disappear, thermometers and stethoscopes have walked away, drawers, shelves, and closets CLEANED out. When I worked at different hospital, in the newborn nursery, people would hoard diapers and wipes and request more because the "drawer is empty". Formula, bottle nipples, band aids, hand sanitizer, infant shirts and blankets... you name it, if it isn't tied down, people will take it. Someone I know had her friend "borrow" a Doppler when she was pregnant, (she did return it, but still) and bring home "extra sq needles" so she could inject her anticoags without having to "pay" for the needles. And it isn't just at my work! It is everywhere! I know people who have taken silverware and cloth napkins from eateries, office supplies, paper, pens etc. I could go on and on and on, but this post would be awfully long... so I will stop. What makes people feel entitled to take things? Why do they feel that they are owed something, that it is OK to take this or that, just because it is there.
At that point, I started to think about my "dirty windows" and how I was being so judgemental and I began to reevaluate my justifications. At this moment, as I type, I am sitting at my computer wearing hospital issued scrubs. I have a whole drawer full! Six bottoms, to be exact, and one top. I wear them almost daily. They are my jammies, my painting pants, housework clothes, hanging around the house pants, gardening pants... you get the idea. If you stop by my house unannounced on any given day, at any given time, I probably have my good old green scrub pants on. How did I end up with all of these scrub pants? Laziness. I have to wear hospital issued scrubs at work, and I am grateful for that. It prevents organisms from home going to work, and work fluids coming home. I have been subject to every kind of bodily fluids you can imagine, and I am glad to have a supply of clean scrubs to change into (sometimes numerous times in a shift) at work. Nights get long, I get tired, and it is just easier to grab my street clothes and go home. I do take them back probably twice a year (except the ones that I have ruined with paint). I have printed personal documents at work over the years, and have probably use at least a ream of paper. I have a collection of pens, a hospital onsie from when Beanie was born, I have taken an extra diaper or two from Babies R Us and IKEA, (they provide them in the baby changing rooms). Free samples? Yeah, I have helped myself to more than one on more than one occasion. As we were contemplating (and hoping) to move to another state, I kept thinking about my cosmetology license, I would loose the fabulous benefit of getting hair product at wholesale. I kept tossing around the idea of just changing my address to my moms so I could keep it current, but of course that isn't entirely honest.... Good (?) thing that isn't an issue anymore. I have lots of these little justifications. It totally humbled me. I have lots of dirty windows that need a good deal of cleaning.
So, what makes me think that I am "better" somehow than this lady at the fast food joint? Simple fact is, I am not. And what right did I have to judge, what right do I have to judge ANYONE, for any reason? It was a real wake up call, and a learning moment. I really need to reevaluate my character and my integrity and decide, what is white, what is black, and what are the shades of grey, where do I draw the line when it comes to ethical decisions? I resolve to do better, especially when it comes to judging others on their "bad behavior".
What do YOU think? I would love to hear (read) what you have to say about it! Is taking a package of napkins and condiments OK, or is it unethical?
5 comments:
I sure as heck don't have an answer to your question. I like to think that I, myself, am above stealing napkins & condiments, but am I really? I mean I don't take those trivial items, or even larger ticket items, but truthfully there is green in my closet too. My question is how do we not rush to judge someone who's wearing expensive clothing and yet stealing something like ketchup & napkins? Even though we are taught not to judge others, I know I would have been as quick to judge that woman too. The difference is I probably wouldn't have recognized my mistake in doing so. YOU see the WRONG in the JUDGEMENT of others. You understand that we in inexcusable: Romans 2:1 "Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest; for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things." I hope that if/when I have an experience like this that I can humbly learn from it as you did and remember that it is not for me to judge.
Honestly (funny that's how I started my comment) but really, Honestly I don't know how to answer either. I know if we think hard enough we all have "little" moments that are not so glorious on both fronts - taking the pens/scrubs/napkins/whatever and also judging others for doing it. Guess all I know is we truly ONLY know our own lot in life. We also have to be comfortable with what we do. On one hand I think - don't drive yourself crazy with such trivial things but then really, are they trivial if it is a reflection on our character? Wow, the more I write, the more I don't really have the answer. I could go around and around this subject for a very long time!
I think it's always hard not to judge people when they appear (like that woman at the fast food joint) to have money and dress well, only to have them steal like that. Yes, it's stealing and wrong, in my opinion. Kind of like when I hear about people showing up to the free summer lunches at schools, driving Escalades and nice SUV's. You mean they have to take advantage of the system and can't afford to fix their kid a PB&J? I guess I'm bad for judging, but I don't have a lot of tolerance for that kind of thing. I think it comes from working my butt off for the things that I do have, thus, I don't respect people who take advantage of our government and other people's money when they haven't learned to budget and prioritize.
Over the past few years (and especially having kids), I've come in contact with very dishonest individuals - in person, in politics and TV, etc. It's been a real eye opener and I'm always "checking" myself and trying to do better.
I think the fact that you recognize the fact that you could be judging and that you know what's right and what's wrong speaks volumes about the awesome person that you are and that you're trying to keep yourself "in check." Some people just flat out don't care and that's sad to me.
Personally, I don't really believe in many "gray" areas. I think that's what gets people into the most trouble, to begin with. They live on the edge in those gray areas. They fence sit. Until one day, they've pushed their limits so far that they're on the opposite side of the fence and in some big trouble.
To me, the majority of things in life are black and white. Either it's right or its wrong.
I have a long way to go to perfection and I judge more than I should. It's wrong and I know that. I guess all I can do is continue to strive to be honest, recognize my faults and do better the next time.
Great post!
While I wasn't quite sure of what to say to your post, I found the worlds of the prophet to (obviously) be better that anything I could come up with...
"None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions.
There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”
I think President Monson said it well.
JEN :)
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